Shitty Movie Detail: Lionheart

FT, Fartiste Theater's frankenthing mascot.

While the movie ends on a cheesy high note, what happens right as the credits roll is Sgt. Hartog and Mustafa return. They snatch Lyon up—psych sucker!—to face trial for desertion and treason. Helene falls into the bottle to escape the pain of losing another Gaultier. She sells little Nicole to the Seaver family, where she becomes Chrissy Seaver. Such pathos. Who had it worse? Lyon, imprisoned forever in a French Legion gulag? Helene plagued by alcohol and gingervitis? Or Chrissy, growing up with Kirk Cameron?

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