Hi. My name is Aeryk and this is me in a convenient third-person bullet point presentation:
- The Aeryk is a delicate fondue of Norse and Cajun stock, with all the subtly, grace, and refinement of a moonshine high colonic.
- The Aeryk is a Humbugger of Arts and Letters. (a writer)
- The Aeryk is a ’73 Honkey Slouchback. (48 years old, white, bad posture)
- The Aeryk is the progenitor of the endearment The Lovable Rascal. (narcissistic with delusions of grandeur)
- The Aeryk is an ordained Dudeist Priest and a Baron with credentials to prove it. (has an inferiority complex, internet access, and had $70 to burn)
- The Aeryk has a B.A. in English. (aspired to work at mcdonalds)
- The Aeryk has a B.A. in Philosophy. (clinched dream career in fast food)
- The Aeryk has a Doktorate of Forbidden Sciences. (too lazy for graduate school so he bought his degree online—another $30 to burn).
- The Aeryk is a hundredare. (was a multi-hundredare but see expenses above)
- The Aeryk wiles away the late, late, late hours in orgies of sex and violence with the likes of Sex With the Headless Corpse of the Virgin Astronaut*. (enjoys watching b-movies)
- The Aeryk’s media library is named “The One That Says Bad Mother Fucker” despite the fact it has The Bangles Greatest Hits. (actually true)
Essentially, the Aeryk is puppy’s breath, a child’s laughter, and managing to snag that meaty nose goblin in the first go—all rolled into one.
Okay, fine. You know who this Aeryk is, but What’s All This Damnable Humbuggery Then?
* Super AWE-some You’ve-Got-No-Life nerd cred if you know the reference (WITHOUT yahoogling the answer)!