Shitty Movie Detail: The Return of the Living Dead

Frank and Freddy freaking out about exposure to 245-Trioxin.
FT, Fartiste Theater's frankenthing mascot.

The best place to hid something is in plain sight. That is why the workers at Uneeda Medical Supplies placed a hidden message in an eye chart in their boss’s office. It reads: “Burt is a Slave Driver and a Cheap SOAB who is going bald too HAHAH.” They “hid” it in an eye chart as a subtle nod to two facts. Namely, that Burt has poor vision and won’t “see” the message, and movie nerds have excellent vision and will comb over every frame of a movie to pull out even the most obscure details.

Shitty Movie Detail: Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

Mola Ram showing the human sacrifice's heart to the crowd of Thuggees.
FT, Fartiste Theater's frankenthing mascot.

If you do not speak/understand Hindi and find yourself being sacrificed to Mother Kali (if we had a nickel for every time that’s happened!), here’s what to expect, say, and do. When the priest/priestess says, “Kali Ma Shakti de,” and pulls your heart from your chest, respond: “Om Namah Shivaya.” Pass out if at all possible because what comes next will cause you to load your underdrawers, and you don’t want to be that person at the human sacrifice!

Shitty Movie Detail: Escape From New York

Snake Plissken aiming his uzi using the mounted scope.
FT, Fartiste Theater's frankenthing mascot.

Snake Plissken has scopes on both his pistol and uzi. Why? Seems like conspicuous machismo, right? (It is!) Yet, they serve a ham-fisted purpose. You see, with only one eye Snake don’t aim so gooder. So the scopes even the odds. Granted, he looks like a dork when he to use them, so, eh…

Shitty Movie Detail: Universal Soldier

Unisols lined up for inspection.
FT, Fartiste Theater's frankenthing mascot.

Ice T’s metal band, Body Count, provided a song for the closing credits: Body Count’s in the House. It’s a subtle and multi-layered song that is the very height of ‘90s cinematic ethos. It’s repeating verses:

Body Count. Body Count.
Body Count. Body Count…

And the chorus:

Body Count’s in the house. Body Count.
Body Count’s in the house. Body Count…

C’est magnifique!