Shitty Movie Detail: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

Batman and Superman face off.
FT, Fartiste Theater's frankenthing mascot.
FT, Fartiste Theater’s frankenthing mascot.

Batman asks Superman, “Do you bleed?” This is a subtle nod to the fact that Kryptonian males MENstruate. This line of inquiry is simply Batman trying to get more information on Kryptonian physiology because he is unsure if Superman has gone through “the change.”

Batman did NOT ask Wonder Woman because he didn’t want to get kicked in the pee pee.

Shitty Movie Detail: Zombieland: Double Tap

Bill Murray (Bill Murray) being interviewed in Zombieland: Double Tap
FT, Fartiste Theater's frankenthing mascot.
FT, Fartiste Theater’s frankenthing mascot.

Bill Murray (Bill Murray) is asked why he was in the fictional film Garfield 3, to which he answers, “Drugs cost money.” This is a subtle nod to why anyone was a part of the actual film Zombieland: Double Tap.

Alimony is also an acceptable answer.

I Fail Stress Tests

Stress Test

Stress tests slurp shit. In only six pride-obliterating minutes they reduce me to a blubbering lump of hyperventilating meat. I readily admit that I’m not a young buck, but 47 isn’t that old. Like Garth Brooks sang, “I’m much too young to feel this damn old.”

(but garth brooks is not in the sad shape we’re in.)

A bit of background, I suffered a heart attack 15 years ago. Thus my need for these yearly shamings.

Continue reading “I Fail Stress Tests”

Shitty Movie Detail: Parasite

Ki-jung sitting on the toilet surrounded by a sea of sewage.
FT, Fartiste Theater's frankenthing mascot.
FT, Fartiste Theater’s frankenthing mascot.

During the heavy rains, the Kim family’s half-basement apartment floods. This flooding causes the sewers to back up, which in turn sends human effluent spraying out of the turlet. This, quite literally, is a shitty movie detail.

Furthermore, as the eponymous title suggests, there was at least one parasite in said sewage.