Despite all the technological advances in 2032, San Angeleans walk around with shitty arses. This is because metal sea shells are notoriously bad for anal cleansing, even if you have three.
Cremation is compression for humans. It’s highly efficient but powerfully unprofitable in reverse.
When the car has a flat on the way to the party, Helen wonders out loud, “You know, I always wondered why they called you Stooge.” Stooge—short for Shakespeare—got his nickname because of his eloquent speech, evidenced with lines such as: “Shut up and drive, bitch!” and “We can play post orifice and you can be the stamp.” and “Eat a bowl of fuck!”
The best place to hid something is in plain sight. That is why the workers at Uneeda Medical Supplies placed a hidden message in an eye chart in their boss’s office. It reads: “Burt is a Slave Driver and a Cheap SOAB who is going bald too HAHAH.” They “hid” it in an eye chart as a subtle nod to two facts. Namely, that Burt has poor vision and won’t “see” the message, and movie nerds have excellent vision and will comb over every frame of a movie to pull out even the most obscure details.
If you do not speak/understand Hindi and find yourself being sacrificed to Mother Kali (if we had a nickel for every time that’s happened!), here’s what to expect, say, and do. When the priest/priestess says, “Kali Ma Shakti de,” and pulls your heart from your chest, respond: “Om Namah Shivaya.” Pass out if at all possible because what comes next will cause you to load your underdrawers, and you don’t want to be that person at the human sacrifice!