Neurotic writers are the shit! The raging mental illness Anne Lamott describes in Bird by Bird is endearing. David Sederis’ shame in Santaland Diaries is heroic. The seemingly endless tales of imposter syndrome from all of my heroes is embiggening. I suffer thusly. . .
And yet the reality, in my life at least, is depressing. I’m beginning to think I’ve been duped by some very talented tricksters. But, in all fairness, I can’t blame it all on them.
(though we damned well do it anyway.)
Continue reading “What’s All This Neurotic Writer Stuff, Then?”
Just like any of the arts, writing is deeply personal. Not just what one writes, but the process one uses to get the words out. I chose to partake in the month long writing challenge I dubbed Journaling June to push myself in order to learn more about what kind of process I need to be a productive writer. This is what I learned.
Continue reading “Journaling June: Epilogue (Writing Challenge Lessons)”
Last night I had a dream set in The Structure. The Structure is an all indoor world, with shopping districts, living districts, manufacturing districts, etc. It’s very antiseptic and manufactured, like living inside a huge mall, except there are no windows. For all intents and purposes, there is no outside.
In these dreams I am generally on a quest. This time I was part of a team looking for parts to repair the failing systems of The Structure. There was a problem. I had no idea what was broken, nor even if I had, how to fix any of it. The others in my group knew I was useless and were trying to distance themselves from me. Somehow, even if they were able to find the piece to fix the problem, having me in the group would bring us all down.
Not only was my world literally falling apart around me, but even if it were to be fixed, I was getting ostracized. Being on one’s own in The Structure is as much a death sentence as all the systems failing.
Thankfully my bladder woke me up before anything happened.
Continue reading “Journaling June: A Middle Way”
“What is great in man is that he is a bridge and not a goal: what is lovable in man is that he is an OVER-GOING and a DOWN-GOING.” —Friedrich Nietzsche, Thus Spoke Zarathustra
I love the empowerment that Nietzsche’s writing exudes, particularly the idea of going down. He means it in several ways, but for me it’s the idea of going into oneself, down deep to face the dragons therein, where I find the greatest interest.
For several months now I have actively been trying to get 15 minutes of quiet time everyday. Time without distractions from my phone, tablet, TV, notebooks, other people, or anything. Time to contemplate . . . whatever. My wife calls it cave time. Considering I’m a guy, why I’m doing it, and my philosophical background, cave time is perfect.
I wish, like Nietzsche, I could write something powerful and inspiring, or mearly thought provoking. Sadly, all I can report is that I suck at cave time.
Continue reading “Journaling June: I Suck at Cave Time”
We look for patterns in the chaos. I don’t know if any other animals do also. Even if they do, how would we know. Assuming we could, that’s for those who are far smarter than I to figure out.
I’m fond of finding patterns in the texturing on walls and ceilings. I found one, a cartoon face, in my ceiling while doing my crunches. The feature image of this post is of the texturing I’m talking about. Here’s a closer view, specifically of the part that grabbed my pattern-establishing imagination:
Continue reading “Journaling June: The Devil in the Details”