Championing Lowbrow Humor and Movies Since 1973
The Society for the Ethical Treament of Zombies would like to clear up the misinformation spread in the popular media that zombies cannot write their letters gooder. While their spelling is quite often poor, they are very good at writing the letters properly.
A zombie with gatlin guns for arms? Seriously? Even the mustache-twirling villains are facepalming this one.
Using Riverman (Basil Wallace) as the prototype cyborg-zombie soldier, the military failed to take into account his deep fear of metal, which rendered him useless for anything apart from wallowing in the corner in a puddle of his own anxieties.
Innocent spooning or not, Tom (Dana Ashbrook) was in an awkward place trying to explain this away to Lucy (Marsha Dietlein), whom he was trying to impress.
I looked this up on the interwebs and couldn’t find any corroborating evidence to support it. Clearly it’s true and the government is trying to cover up this story. #thetruthisoutthere
